When to take the reins

I always think to myself when I see a lovely young lady what does she like. Does she like giving up control. How would it be for us if she submitted to me. How she would look in clothing of my choosing. Let us say this person does submit to me. I always like taking full control but How fast do I take it. What is too much control. I have been told I was too relaxed in the past. Guess I need to take the reins quicker. But the good part with mistakes is you learn from them.